In this insightful episode, Mariette Frey delves into the often-overlooked biological effects of major life transitions, such as moving. As a relocation and life coach, Mariette shares her personal experiences and research on how these transitions impact our bodies and minds. From the fight-or-flight response triggered by change to the emotional and physical toll of decision fatigue, Mariette offers practical strategies to navigate these challenges. Tune in to learn how to support your brain and body through life’s big changes and discover that you’re not alone in feeling the chaos.
Mariette Frey is a relocation strategist, life coach, and host of the Moving Tips + Tricks podcast. Every week on Smart Move Monday: Coach Mariette’s Corner, she offers free coaching to help listeners move with clarity and confidence. Check out her favorite tools, trusted show sponsors, and more at www.decidingtomove.com. Free spots are limited — coaching roster opens soon!
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You’re Not Crazy, You’re In Transition
And Your Body Knows It
Unpacking The Biology Of Big Transitions
I am very excited to be here. I have not recorded in quite a while, and so this is awkward. I know we were on a break, and I didn’t tell you we were on a break, but I took a break because I needed a break. That is a great segue for what we’re going to talk about, which is what happens to our bodies and brains during major transitions like moving.
Moving is often framed as a logistical challenge. You pack the boxes, you book the truck, you change the address, but the real challenge is what’s happening inside your body and your brain. As a relocation coach and a certified life coach, I’ve witnessed it time and time again, not only in myself, but in my clients. This isn’t even the stress of finances. This is legit biological bananas, like the fatigue, the forgetfulness, and the frustration that seem to come out of nowhere during a move. It’s not laziness or lack of motivation. It’s biology.
I sent a newsletter out titled, You’re Not Crazy, You’re in Transition and Your Body Knows It. The response to this newsletter was off the charts. I knew that I was hitting a nerve. It’s hard to be very vulnerable about how I’ve been feeling myself personally, because I’m a very positive person. I don’t want to come off negative. If someone is going through a tough time already, I don’t want to make them feel worse. We need to normalize what we go through during big transitions and realize that it doesn’t end the day of your move into a new place or starting a new job. It can last for 6 to 12 months afterwards.
Brain On Overload: The Six Categories Of Moving Stress
In this episode, we’re talking about cortisol, decision fatigue, grief, and the neuroscience of chaos during a move. After I went down the rabbit hole of what happens to us, let me tell you, I had to dig, because there is not a lot out there tied specifically to moving. I had to piece it together from all kinds of different things. I was using all the different words like transition, relocation, and everything that I could think of to say like, “What is physically happening to my body because I feel crazy?” I realized I was in a six-month funk, which happens six months after you move. I categorized all of my research into six categories. That’s the bad news.
The good news is I have eight different categories to support you through it. Let’s dig into what I found. The first thing was that the brain flags changes in threat, which is crazy. Your amygdala, which is the brain’s fear center, lights up during any big transition, even positive ones like a new home or you’re moving to your favorite city ever. This triggers a fight or flight response, releasing cortisol and adrenaline, which can lead to anxiety, irritability, and poor sleep. Because the brain craves predictability and control, moving filled with uncertainty and constant decision-making feels like a threat to its safety. That was the first thing I found.
The second one was that your executive function is in overload. Your prefrontal cortex, which is the part that handles decision-making and planning, goes into legit overdrive during a move. You’ve got packing lists, utility setups, school enrollments, and all the things. It’s constant. This is called decision fatigue. It can make even simple tasks feel paralyzing and overwhelming.
Laura from Laura Makes Moves was on my show a couple of times. We were talking about decision fatigue and how the sheer volume of micro decisions can lead to procrastination, crazy emotional outbursts, or even paralysis, which is what happened in my account. You have a complete brain mental shutdown, and you feel completely irrational one minute, and then you’re completely fine the next, which makes you feel even crazier. That was number two.
Number three is emotional attachment and loss. We’re emotionally bonded to our homes and routines. Whether you realize it or not, subconsciously, leaving them can cause grief, even if we’re excited about what’s happening next. It could be the best move for you ever. You could have made a bazillion dollars on your house, or you’re leaving school. You’re going out to the big bad world, you’re super excited, and you have been waiting your whole life for it. This still shows up as grief, and we don’t know enough about grief, but it can show up in many different ways.
We’re emotionally bonded to our homes and routines, and leaving them, whether we realized or not, can subconsciously cause grief. Share on XFatigue, sadness, brain fog, and sometimes even real somatic symptoms, which are stomach aches or that anxiety and tightness in that you feel in your chest. There were so many things that happened to me during this process because my grief stemmed from moving from Charlotte. I left a lot in Charlotte. If you’ve been tuning in to the show, you know 2023 was a horrific year for me. I lost several people in my life. I lost both my dogs in the span of four months. My relationship ended. All of these things happened to me.
I went through such a tough period that the waves of grief would hit me in the most random places. I could be picking an apple from the produce section of a grocery store, and I would start crying. At one point in time, I was in the Whole Foods in Indianapolis. That was a true story. I was in the produce session, and I wasn’t getting an apple because I don’t love apples. I don’t remember what I was getting. Regardless, I had tears in my eyes, and I was trying to be very discreet about it.
I was wiping them away. The produce guy put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Are you okay?” I looked at him and I said, “I’m processing a little grief right now.” He goes, “That’s a great line.” I said, “It’s not a line, it’s the truth.” He goes, “Yeah, but I’m processing a little grief right now too, and it’s hitting me in weird places. I might have to steal that line.” I’m like, “Boss, it’s all yours. Thanks.”
The fact that I was able to call it out helped process it in that moment. It almost instantly disappeared. The tear well dried up, and I felt so much better. We can call it what it is, mentally speaking. Your subconscious will be like, “Okay, we’re processing grief. Okay, cry it out, get it over with, and then move on,” and it’s going to come and go. That’s just what it is.
That was the third thing I found. The fourth thing I found was interesting, which is the disrupted circadian rhythms. This was like pecking late into the night, inconsistent waking times, and a new environment can mess with your sleep-wake cycle. It can even be like the new things. When I moved into this house that I’m currently in, there were all kinds of weird sounds that were happening. The HVAC system is so super loud, and it would go on. I would practically hit the ceiling. I didn’t have at the time an alarm system or anything to tell me what that was.
I would wake up, and that messed with my sleep cycle so badly. As I said, new sounds, new smells, getting the right temperature, it took me forever to figure out what the right temperature is because 67 in my Charlotte house felt way different than 67 in my Orlando house. Even getting the temperature comfortable can lead to poorer sleep, which we all know, exacerbates your mood swings, memory issues, and cognitive issues when you’re sluggish and tired. That was a big thing that I found. It’s that transition that can mess with that circadian rhythm, which I thought was super interesting.
The fifth thing that it does is it has a social and environmental disorientation. I thought disorientation was a great word for it because even if you move to the other side of town, you’re still like finding new routes. Your hippocampus is the part of your brain that helps with memory and spatial navigation. It’s working overtime in a new space. I love that I moved home because I barely ever use my GPS now, but I still use it every once in a while.
Even though I grew up in the town that I’m currently living in, or right around this town, sometimes I’m like, “Am I going down the right street? I passed the street. I should have gone to the other one.” You’re still working overtime in that new space. Your body and your brain are mentally remapping, and it’s taxing when you’re already in survival mode and you’re trying to keep your head above water.
Especially for families who must also reorient kids, pets, and routines, that is a big one. Plus, you have the lack of a stable community, even if it’s temporary. When you’re moving between places, you feel alone. You don’t have that stability of being able to call somebody out or call anybody. Even if you can call them, you don’t have them right there to give you a hug and be like, “Okay, you’re fine.” It literally can increase feelings of loneliness and disconnection, which are both biologically stressful to your body and your brain because you need that as a human being. That’s part of our wiring.
Lack of a stable community, even if it's temporary, can increase feelings of loneliness and disconnection, which are both biologically stressful to your body and your brain. Share on XI thought number five was very interesting because it is social and environmental disorientation. I don’t know how else to describe it. When I put it in there, I was like, “Yes, that is exactly how I feel.” The sixth one was your immune system suppression. Chronic stress from transition increases cortisol, which weakens your immune response. People often get sick right before or right after a move. My cousin Becky is going through a tough time. She ended up getting surgery. She’s moving with a two-month-old whom I am lucky enough to be her godmother. I’m so excited. Willow is her name, and she is adorable. That happened while we were on a break. She ended up having to get surgery because her body and her immune system were down.
Chronic stress from transition increases cortisol, which weakens your immune response. Share on XPeople often get sick right before or right after a move. Looking back, if you’ve moved, you’ve probably noticed that. It’s not a coincidence. It’s biology. Your body is stressed out. It can’t fight off any type of immune disruption, and you’re suppressing your immune system. You have to be ready for that. That’s why in the FRED framework, we talk a lot about robustness, mental and physical strength, and getting your body physically ready for it. Your immune system, your everything, that is part of the framework for a reason because you’re mentally not strong enough, which brings down your biology and increases your cortisol, then your physical body is going to suffer the consequences because you’re going to have a weakened immune response.
You could get sick and try packing and being under a deadline, and everything when you’re sick. It sucks, and nobody wants that. The science of feeling off during a move is that your cortisol is up and your energy is down. Your decision fatigue equals mental fog. Your emotional dislocation is your grief and fatigue. Those new routines equal biological confusion. Your overloaded brain is like that short fuse and low resilience. At this point, you’re probably begging for me to tell you how to fix it if you are in this hot mess of a move right now, which a lot of people are. Summer is the hottest moving season, and we are smack dab in the middle of it. I want to tell you how to fix this.
Everybody is different, but here are some things and some strategies that you can use. Luckily, I have more strategies to fix these things than I do that seem to be broken. I know there’s legalese at the end of this show. I’m not a doctor. I am not physically diagnosing you with anything. These are all things that you could experience that I know I have experienced in my twenty moves that I’ve moved. These are some suggestions. Take it or leave it.
First, I want you to normalize what you’re feeling. You’re not broken, you’re biologically taxed. You can use that or you can say, “I’m processing grief.” There are some quick strategies, like hydration, sleep, hygiene, lists, routines, asking for help, and then giving yourself grace. Regulators, mound up. Let’s talk about these eight things you can do to support your brain and body during a big transition because you need them.
#1 Regulating Your Nervous System
The first thing is regulating the nervous system. Get it. “Regulators, mount up.” I’m a child of the ‘70s and ‘80s, so I love that term. Anyway, if you started hearing the music afterwards, you might have ADHD like me. Anyway, first things first. I love to take big, deep breaths. There is a thing called box breathing. You’ve probably heard of it, but 5, 5, 7 are the numbers. You breathe in for 5, you hold it for 5, and then you slowly breathe it out for 7, and you do that again.
If you do that 4 or 5 times, that helps calm the vagus nerve. We’re hearing a lot about the vagus nerve these days, but that can regulate your stress response in the moment. The other thing you can do is grounding exercises like walking barefoot in the grass, which I don’t love, especially with all the bugs out these days, and ticks, triggers, and all that stuff.
What I do instead is I hold something cold in my hand, which can quickly recenter me. If I am having a moment, sometimes I’ll jump in the shower because the water on your face, if it’s cold or any water in your face, sometimes can recenter you as well. That is something. One thing I found funny from the yoga community is alternate nostril breathing. I think they call it pranayama. It is shown to balance your left and right hemispheres of your brain, and that reduces anxiety. I picture somebody holding one nostril and breathing in, holding the other nostril and breathing in. I didn’t look up what it looks like, but that’s what I picture it to be.
The next thing is EFT solutions. Emotional Freedom Techniques, they often refer to it as tapping. That’s a technique used to manage emotions and potentially reduce stress and anxiety by tapping on specific points of your body while focusing on a particular issue. It’s a mind-body practice that combines elements of exposure, therapy, and acupuncture.
I have a friend who teaches this, and it sounds quirky. I know it does. If you’re watching me on YouTube, you tap certain spots, and you do it several times. I’m tapping my head, nose, chin, and clavicle. What you do is you say things like, “I am safe,” while you’re tapping in those spots. It sounds quirky, but I have been in some powerful sessions where Dawn has done that with people. It will be something that triggers me, and I will start crying. I’m watching her do it to somebody else who’s either crying or not crying.
It is weird where it hits you, but subconsciously, it almost taps into that acupuncture, where they’re putting needles into places, and you don’t know what it goes to. All of a sudden, you feel this release. That’s the same thing. I thought about having her on the show. Dawn Whitney is her name. She’s amazing. Also, my friend Nadene Cherry, who is an amazing meditation coach. I love meditation. Meditation is another thing that I notice very much. When I am not doing it, my nervous system is all over the place.
I know it sounds funny, but I spend 23 minutes a day meditating. I have a guided meditation that I love. The guy has the voice of an angel. I can’t even remember what his name is, Steven something. He is Australian. The music in the background is awesome. It’s amazing. Find what works for you, what regulates your nervous system. Getting out for a walk, walking on some grass, and grounding yourself, doing a meditation that’s guided or not guided. Find something that works for you because it’s important for you to regulate your nervous system in that moment because it’s freaking out. That is number one.
#2 Creating Anchors Of Routines
Number two is creating anchors of routine. Your brain craves structure, even if it’s the rest of your life is packed in boxes; these little techniques can help. Things like creating a wake and sleep schedule every day. You go to bed at the same time, you get up at the same time. Drinking water first thing in the morning before coffee. I will admit I am awful at this. I never do it. I want to be that person who drinks water in the morning first thing, but I’m typically a coffee-first girl. They say drinking water first thing in the morning rehydrates you, and it’s amazing.
Your brain craves structure. Share on XCreate one non-negotiable ritual. Mine is setting up the coffee pot every single night. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed drunk. I wake up in the morning, and my coffee pot has been set. I have been doing this for 30 years. I can honestly say I miss three days in those 30 years, unless I’m traveling and there’s no coffee pot. When I’m at home, my nighttime ritual, my non-negotiable, is setting up the coffee pot so I don’t have to do it in the morning. I’ve got a timer on it and everything. Find one non-negotiable ritual that you’re going to do in this time of transition and make sure you do it.
The other thing that’s helpful is to create a top-three list each morning. Remember when I said your prefrontal cortex conspires a lot of control, like that decision fatigue is a big deal. If you write down three priorities for the day, you are likely to hit them. If you write twenty priorities for the day, you’re likely not to hit any. Maybe 1 or 2.
Keep a big list of things that you feel like you need to get done. You can put it at the front of the notebook, but every single day, write down your top three things and make them non-negotiable that you have to absolutely do. Whether it’s changing your address at the post office or getting your 3 or 4 bids from the moving company, make a list and put your top three on that. If you hit those three and you feel like you’ve got a lot of energy and you want to do more, then go back to the master list and cross those three off and pick another one. Don’t let your prefrontal cortex spiral. It’s bad for your stress levels.
#3 Nourishing Your Body For Recovery
Number three, nourish your body like it’s recovering from surgery, because in many ways, it is. You want high-protein, high-fiber meals for sustained energy. Don’t skip breakfast. I have a hard time eating in the morning, but I will tell you that if I have even just a hard-boiled egg, and I’ll precook some bacon at the beginning of the week, and then I’ll throw it in the microwave for 30 seconds.
Nourish your body like it's recovering from surgery because in many ways, it is. Share on XEven one hard-boiled egg and a piece of bacon, legitimately, I probably have three pieces of bacon, but it keeps my blood sugar stable. For whatever reason, the rest of the day, I don’t have those sugar crashes. Especially on moving day, it is incredibly important to eat breakfast because sometimes, you don’t eat the rest of the day, and we don’t need anybody hangry.
Hydration with electrolytes is important, especially if you’re moving in the summer. You sweat when you’re lifting things. Skipping meals. People don’t realize that sometimes when you skip meals, you sweat because your body is processing. A lot of times, electrolytes are good. It’s got the sodium in it, which your body needs to perform optimally. It also has things like magnesium in it and other supplements that will keep your body moving even if you’re low on the food scale that day.
If you’re not a breakfast person and you’re going to fight me on that, maybe pack a snack pack. Put some dried fruit in there, almonds, or jerky. You have a little protein, or have protein bars on hand in a bowl on the counter or something. Grab them as you’re packing or you’re getting things done. These are not just moving day tips. These are the three months leading up to the moving day and the three months after, because you are in transition and your body is not going to tell you that it’s struggling, but it could be struggling.
#4 The Power Of Supplements: Nootropics, Homeopathy & Green Compass
This is the part that gets into the woo-woo a little. I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about supplements, homeopathy, and Green Compass. Number four is considering supplements. I want you to check with your provider first. If you’re on Western medications, there could be things that counteract, but for the most part, you’re not going to see that with homeopathy and not the Green Compass stuff. Some of these supplements, you may, but here’s a little list for you.
You want to lower your cortisol. As we talked about, cortisol weakens your immune system. A good supplement for that is ashwagandha. It’s an adaptogen, and it reduces the stress response in your body. It keeps things calmer. If you want brain clarity, a good supplement is Lion’s mane mushroom. We’ll talk about that a little bit on the Green Compass stuff because that’s what I use.
What it does is support neuroplasticity and cognitive function. It helps you process decisions better. If you want to calm your nervous system, a good supplement is magnesium glycinate. It’s called L-Threonate. The reason is that it helps you sleep. You do a lot of healing in your brain and in your body while you’re sleeping, but it also reduces muscle tension and anxiety.
That’s a big one. If you do have a hard time sleeping and you want better sleep, I use both valerian root and sometimes melatonin. Melatonin is something short-term. You never want to do it for longer than a week. Take a break in between, and then you can do it again because it stops working after a while. It’s not something you want in your body all the time. Valerian root does help a lot. It’s up there with the St. John’s-wort. It helps with regulating your circadian rhythms, and that could be disrupted by stress. You want to regulate that and help get into a system.
For mood and motivation, a good supplement is rhodiola rosea. It’s an adaptogen as well. It helps with fatigue and focus during stress. I want to get into homeopathy a little bit. My friend Joanne and Heather swear by it. They run their families on it. They are very big fans. Heather is a homeopathic functional practitioner, and she’s amazing. They sell these little pellets. They’re interesting.
Homeopathy is a system of medicine that is fundamentally different from conventional, or what they call allopathic medicine. Allopathic medicine tends to focus heavily on pharmaceuticals, which many of them suppress symptoms, and then they cause other side effects, leading to further imbalance. You’ve all heard the commercials where it’s like you want to treat your anxiety, but then you get two minutes’ worth of side effects that it’s going to bring you.
Sometimes that is not the best path. Homeopathy seeks to simulate the body’s own healing mechanisms to correct the underlying imbalance that causes the symptoms in the first place. Homeopathy is oftentimes synonymous with home remedies like food supplements, vitamins, and herbs, but it doesn’t incorporate any of these modalities in actuality. That’s not true. It’s unfortunate that home is part of the word homeopathy because it doesn’t have anything to do with home remedies, witchcraft, food supplements, or anything like that.
What it does is based on the principle that cures are alike. Meaning substances that cause symptoms in a healthy person can treat similar symptoms in someone who’s ill, if that makes sense. The idea is that these substances are diluted many times to the point where only a trace of the original substance remains. People refer to the little pellets, I call them the little pellets, as energy. It means that the homeopathic remedy is thought to carry the vibration or the energetic imprint of the original substance, even though there’s little to no physical trace of it left in there.
The belief is that the energetic vibrations can stimulate the body’s natural healing process, and then it corrects imbalances in the system. In theory, that promotes wellness. I have ADHD, I think we all know that. I’ve talked about it many times. You’ve heard me go down tangents. I’m formally getting tested and diagnosed.
I’ve been told by so many people, quizzes, and all that stuff. I’ve always believed that to be true. I’ve always used it to put me in the zone and fuel my energy, but sometimes, it can be a distraction, and it can imbalance my focus, and it makes life hard. I have been using the homeopathic pellets for that. There are a couple of different ones.
One is called Coffea Cruda, and it helps you focus. You put these little pellets under your tongue, and you let them dissipate. They melt on their own, and you don’t drink water or anything for about twenty minutes afterwards. I have noticed a difference using them. There are all kinds of different things that I’ve used in the past, too, but there are things that when you feel sick, you take them, and your body changes.
It’s not for everybody, and not everybody believes that it works. For some people, it works well, and for some people, it doesn’t. Between the supplements and the homeopathic modality, try it and see if it works. I have been using Green Compass. You all know that I’ve been repping for them for a long time. I enjoy their products. It’s a little controversial because there are some THC elements to it. CBD is a hemp flower extract. The CBDA is what I use. It is an isolate, and it helps magnify the effects of CBD when it’s taken together with your other hemp products. I take both. The THC, in a product like Green Compass, is not detectable when it’s tested because it’s down to 100 PPMs, which is their baseline.
I’m not going to get into the specifics, but what I love about Green Compass is that there’s a lot of crap CBD out there. Green Compass doesn’t have any genetically engineered ingredients. It’s not psychoactive. It has a ton of benefits. The benefits are that it provides protection against environmental stressors, which is huge for me. It helps to soothe and ease discomfort associated with nausea. It supports recovery from exercise-induced pain, and it assists in the relief of daily stresses in your life.
It helps maintain that sense of calm and focus. It does help a sleep cycle, too, which we talked about circadian rhythms, and it overall helps in the homeostasis of your body. That’s what I go for. There’s another product within the Green Compass family that I’ve also started using called Mind Bloom, and I’ve always been a big fan of nootropics. It’s mushrooms. These aren’t the ones that you take and you go on a big funky trip. It is the ones that you are using to support focus and concentration, and also long-term cognitive health.
It helps with a healthy immune response and that full-body wellness when it’s paired with hemp products. Just like the hemp products that they have in the CBDA, it’s USA-grown, hand-harvested-certified, made with organic ingredients, functional organic mushrooms. Green Compass calls it GC Sage, which is an extract that supports focus and limits mental fog. It inhibits acetylcholine esterase, which is a lot of noise in your brain. It also has organic cordyceps and that mushroom, which features neuroprotective compounds that support memory and provide protection against free radicals.
I need to have Heather, one of my friends from Green Compass, on the show to talk about it because she has a wealth of knowledge. She has been using it for a long time. Free radicals also mess with your cells. There are a lot of things that these mushrooms do to protect you and your body and keep your cells clean. The other thing it has in it is Lion’s mane, which a lot of people have heard about at this point, but that’s bolstering your cognitive health through the supportive tissue growth, repair, maintenance, and things like that. Overall, the benefits that I have felt support focus in as little as ten minutes.
I’m not even kidding. I will take it when I get to my desk in the morning, and it is there to promote long-term cognitive function, but it helps support that focus and concentration I need to get through the day because I have a million things that I’m doing in my new role. I need something that supports my brain health and my memory. That’s what it is. That was a lot.
#5 Prioritizing Sleep Like A Newborn
Number four was probably the biggest. That’s the supplements, the homeopathy, and then my Green Compass magic. Number five, we’re more than halfway through the list. Prioritize sleep like a newborn, even if it’s fragmented. You want to be using an eye mask, your blackout curtains. Sometimes I use magnesium spray on my arms or on the bottom of my feet before I go to bed. I talked about guided meditations. I don’t do it when I go to bed, because sometimes it pumps me up that I don’t want to go to sleep.
There are apps out there, like the Calm app that I’ve used, and Activations. There are a lot of them that have timers that you can set. That’s a big one. Another thing that is hard to do, especially if you’re packing and watching TV, is to limit screen time to 30 to 60 minutes before bed. That’s going to naturally boost your melatonin in your body, the stuff that you create in your body. Number five is prioritizing sleep like a newborn. Trust me, you’re going to need it because your brain and transition go through some funky stuff.
#6 Protecting Your Digital Inputs
Number six is protecting your inputs. The reason I called it that is because during moves, your brain is super overstimulated. Any digital noise you can reduce is helpful. This is unfollowing the chaos on Instagram, muting group chats, or turning off non-urgent notifications. Sometimes, you react instinctively because that’s how we’ve been trained to go.
Right now, there’s a lot of crazy stuff happening in the world. Once the algorithm on Instagram figures out that you’ve accidentally set down your phone while you’re watching one of them, it’s going to put all of that into a chat. It could be tough on your body if that’s all you keep seeing when you’re already stressed out. Choose intentional inputs. This would be like finding positive people to follow on Instagram if you’re going to stay on the social media apps, TikTok, Substack, or whatever you prefer.
Maybe create a calming playlist on your Apple iTunes or Spotify that you can turn on. I love listening to piano music. There’s piano music of hits of today. It’s neat. They got like Blind Melon and all kinds of random stuff. They’ll start playing the piano, and your brain is like, “I know this song.” You’re not listening to words or anything, but it calms you down and helps you focus. I thought that might be something. Another thing is that a lot of people like audiobooks because you’re listening to them as you’re packing or unpacking or whatever you’re doing. That can soothe you, too, if you get lost in a book. I know that’s a good one. That’s number six.
#7 Delegate To Elevate: Asking For Help Relentlessly
Number seven is asking for help and delegating relentlessly. This is the time to not think you’re going to batch cook your meals the week before a move, like order takeout or prep meals. Make sure they’re healthy because you want to nourish your body with good, clean food. Let your friends pack. I have 5 or 6 friends who are moving right now, and I’ve offered to help all of them, and not a single one has taken me up on there. You guys know that moving is my jam.
Have a neighbor come over or ask a friend. People do want to help and be a part of something big. Especially if they know that it is going to help you, let them. In the words of Mel Robbins, “Let them.” You can even hire TaskRabbit, I don’t know if you’ve heard of that, or a sitter. I am a big proponent of having your house cleaned after you move because you do not want to do that. A move-out clean is much different than a regular keeping things tidy clean. Let somebody else do that. It’s like $150 typically, and it is worth every freaking penny.
Also, ask someone else to make decisions when you’re tapped out. We often think that we have to make all the decisions and we’re going to take them. That’s what leads to decision fatigue. If it is not 100% important to you, tap out. Let somebody else do it. If you don’t care where you guys eat for dinner, then let somebody else pick and purge that decision from your brain. Ask somebody to help you when you need it and delegate relentlessly. The keyword is relentlessly.
#8 Normalizing The Funk: Embrace the Emotional Waves
The final thing that I want to talk about, number eight, is normalizing the emotional waves. You are going to feel unmotivated. You’re going to feel like you’re failing at this. You could be extra sensitive or withdrawn. That is normal. Transitions create emotional noise. The key is not to interpret it as something being wrong with you. The good news is that when you understand what’s happening, you can support your system through it. Simplify your choices, nourish your body, sleep when you can, and ask for help. Know that the funk isn’t forever, but being aware that you’re in the funk will help you give yourself a little grace.
Transitions create emotional noise, and the key is not to interpret it as something being wrong with you. Share on XYou can even call me names. Just know that this funk isn’t forever, but if you call it out, it’s going to stay around less than you think. The long and the short is you’re not a mess. You’re just in motion, and there’s a big difference. I’m going to wrap this up. I’d love to hear about maybe other things that have helped you through a move. I’m mostly on Instagram and LinkedIn these days. If you’re on my Monday Mailer, which has not always been out on Mondays, it’s just an alliteration; you can respond to one of my emails. I’d love to hear about what you’re doing.
If you need support, I’m here. I don’t have an active coaching roster, so you’re pretty much going to get free advice. If you go to my website, I haven’t checked it in a while, the website Excel spreadsheet, but there is a coaching tab where you can get 30 minutes free. It’s not necessarily coaching; it can be support. We can jump on the show and talk about what you’re feeling, how you’re feeling, and I can tell you if it’s normal or if you’re crazy. I’m probably going to tell you that you are normal. Sometimes, talking through and verbally processing helps. That’s it.
You are not crazy. You’re just in transition. The more grace you can give yourself, the better you’re going to feel. It’s going to suck. Moving sucks. It just does. You’re disrupted. You are not in your routine. Your body’s in constant fight or flight. If you can unpack all of this and know that moving should be a logistical challenge, but it’s not, you’re going to get through it.
Find a moving pal. I always tell people to get a moving buddy that you can call and vent to, and then they don’t offer advice. They just take it in with you, and that’s it. I hope you’re having a great day. I hope these things helped, and I hope you learned a little bit in the meantime. If nobody has told you, I’m here for support. I love you all. Thanks.